When Bystanders are Quiet

 

 

 When bystanders are quiet, there are usually underlying threats that keep individuals and groups from stepping up to help or report bullying and abuse. In the case of children who cannot speak for themselves, some bystanders may feel threatened or even benefit by not intervening and will only do so if there is a chance that others will report the abuse.

When bystanders are quiet and not involved in the abuse or bullying of adults or children, fear or uncertainty may be why. However, in the presence of a bully, the behavior of the victim and the bystander goes beyond apathy to fear-based responses. According to Dr. Albrecht, there are five common fears among humans.

 Fear Types:

 (1) fear of extinction,

 (2) fear of body mutilation or invasion,

 (3) loss of autonomy,

 (4) fear of separation, abandonment, or rejection,

 (5) ego-death or fear of humiliation, shame, or worthlessness.

 Since bullying is a systemic problem, the diffusion of responsibility to not intervene or report bullying behavior becomes rationalized because of the fears embedded in the culture. 

Debra Stewart, Psy.D. Organizational Psychologist Specializing in Health and Wellness

 

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Bully Management and Prevention Certification

 

How Organizations Create Bullies

 

Adams' Equity Theory of Job Motivation may help explain how workplace policies and procedures, non-inclusive reward and recognition programs, and unfair growth and development practices may create workplace bullies. Based on needs and expectations, employee satisfaction depends on fair inputs and outputs. When an imbalance occurs, and unfairness is perceived, employee retention drops, accidents and injuries increase, and competition for limited resources intensifies. -Dr. Stewart

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Are You an Unhappy Bully?

Everyone has bully tendencies when they feel threatened or have unmet needs that are difficult to resolve. The five-factor personality traits model contains five categories of personality traits: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. The five-factor personality traits may give rise to great leaders and compassionate community helpers when balanced with other social checks and norms.

 However, there are extremes in personality expression within the five-factor model that may give rise to anti-social personality disorders that often describe and explain bully-type behaviors. Some bullies remain in this personality phase across their lifespan. However, an unhappy bully is a person who does feel regret, remorse, and is morally engaged. In contrast, a sociopath or psychopath shows a disregard for others and a failure to feel remorse and guilt. The good news is that if you are a bully and feel remorse or guilt over your interactions with others or desire to change to a more balanced combination of the five-factor personality traits, you are probably a bully who can change. Sometimes change is easy with reflection and positive mentors, but bullies may also need to seek professionals in the mental health field to help manage their feelings and unmet needs.

`Dr. Debra Stewart

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Finding the Good in the Workplace Bully